wat bout pragnant strippers??
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
