Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
