She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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