I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
