There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
