Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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