Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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