I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
