I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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