so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
