im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
