Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
