You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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