No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
