Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
