K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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