We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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