I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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