waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
