Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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