If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
