i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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