True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
