So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
