no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
