i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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