Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
