escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize