He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
