Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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