when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
