For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
a search helicopter?!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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