strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
