i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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