Everything about him screamed your future.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
