Say something about gay babies.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
