I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize