She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize