I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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