finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
