im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
