After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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