Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize