You're completely useless in the revolution.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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