You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
