There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
