So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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