For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
