remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
