Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Can I color on your dick again?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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