Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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