when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
