3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
