i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
