im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
