I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
