so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize