totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
