which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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