yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
