Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
