so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
