he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
