yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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