non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
