He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
