You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my being single is dangerous.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize