I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
